Popularity is not suitable for everyone because some people are naturally more socially driven than others. Social skills can be learned, but for those who are not naturally on the extroverted side, it’s harder and could seem forced, even if that’s not their intention.

Popularity demands skills like charisma, the ability to sustain small talk, making situations feel less awkward, and adapting to different social environments, no matter what. Not everyone is structured this way, though. Some find themselves wanting to be popular even if they aren’t built for it. This could create the feeling of not being interesting enough, as if lacking popularity or friends means lacking value.

Underneath the attractive surface it has, popularity has costs. It’s important to ask yourself whether you would like to be popular or feel genuinely accepted by a small circle of people you trust.

Being known by numerous individuals doesn’t guarantee being understood by them. Most popular people become the “floater” friend, who is present in many groups but doesn’t truly belong in any; it’s just a surface-level friendship. A large circle of friends can sometimes mean relationships built because of hidden interests, and it makes authenticity harder to notice. You might feel the pressure of maintaining an image, which limits self-expression. You may have certain interests that can seem ‘weird’ to others, and you could lose friends if you express them, so is it really worth it? Additionally, you keep things to yourself because of that fear, over and over, until you find yourself wishing you could value quality over quantity.

As an introvert, being reserved or simply resting your face can be misinterpreted as being mean or arrogant because you don’t go out of your way to befriend people.

I have been around ‘popular’ people, especially my age. I admired the way they seemed so interesting and approachable, and I wished more people knew my name. I wondered what it would be like to have more friend groups and to always have plans, but then I asked myself, is being known worth pursuing if it doesn’t mean having genuine friendships? After some thinking, I understood that it doesn’t suit my personality, and maybe it isn’t as great as it seems

To wrap it up, I think being yourself is the safest and healthiest choice you can make, and that compatibility will always, deep down, feel better than having a ‘status’.

Setting boundaries, being selective, knowing what you want and who you want to be around are quite significant things, even if they can make you seem closed off. While you do ‘owe’ kindness to people, it doesn’t mean you need to step on your limits or preferences. The people who are meant to stay in your life will value you for yourself.